It’s the classic Catch-22 situation: You can’t get a job or change careers without the necessary experience … but how are you supposed to gain experience if no one will give you a chance?

The answer: find an internship, temp job, or consulting gig! And this advice applies not just to recent graduates, but to ANYONE at any age, or at any stage of their career.

Doing an internship, taking a temp job, or getting project work will give you practical, real-world experience, get your foot in the door (or get it back in the door) of the working world, lead to your developing some new relationships and new skills, and help you to figure out what it is that you really want to do and (equally important) what you don't. 

Earlier in my career, as well as at various times when I was between jobs, I worked at a series of (unpaid) internships and (low-paying) temp jobs. Some of them were interesting, most were pretty boring, and others were completely torturous. 

But without them I would, most likely, not be where I am (or who I am) today.

For example, during the summer between graduating with my B.A. and finishing up my master's, I did an unpaid three-month internship as a researcher at NBC. It actually cost me money to work there, as I had to pay for my commute and lunch every day, not to mention the costly dry cleaning bills.

But although doing that internship had some downsides, it had many more upsides: I gained valuable work experience and discovered some of the things I liked to do and was good at — as well as a number of things that I didn’t and wasn’t. I made some useful contacts, gained some invaluable work experience, built my confidence, got a rush of excitement walking into 30 Rock every day, and was now able to put “NBC” on my resume.

A couple of years later, after moving out to L.A., a series of eight temp jobs in eight different departments over eight weeks at Disney ultimately led to an amazing administrative assistant job in tv comedy program development, working for a writer/producer on the legendary Burbank studio lot.

Looking back, I can honestly say that each and every one of my internships, temp jobs, or consulting gigs turned out to be, in one way or another, an impactful and memorable stepping-stone in my career.

And they left me with some valuable, life-long lessons that can be summed up in these four simple phrases: Look, Listen, & Learn; Do & Try; Ask Questions, Especially "Why?"; and Build Relationships Now:

1. Look, Listen, & Learn
When you start doing something you’ve never done before, in work or in life, EVERYTHING is new: the people; the place itself; the policies, processes, and procedures, etc. So be a sponge! Take it all in. Every interaction, every conversation, everything you see, hear, and feel –- seek to look, listen, and learn.

Be alert. Be aware. Be self-aware! Look around you — up, down, and across. Step outside yourself. Try to see things from others' points of view. Seek candid feedback. Look for best practices. And worst practices. Take a mental (or written) inventory of Do’s & Don’ts. Absorb the culture. Engage with the entire experience. And maintain an open and positive attitude. Make everything that happens, every day, a memorable experience and a teachable moment.

While your time in this position may only be brief, what you learn, both positive and negative, could last a lifetime if you just pay attention. And, even though it may be far from your "dream job," as in the Robert Frost poem “The Road Not Taken,” you never know where it might lead.

2. Do & Try
It’s one thing to learn by looking and listening. But people learn most -– and learn best -– by DOING. So seek to do, and to try to do, as much as possible. Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. Take some risks. Raise your hand. And be willing to get your hands dirty, even though they may sometimes end up getting a little battered and bruised. It’s all part of the game. 

Don’t expect to do everything right, or to be perfect the first time out. “Trial and error” is a common phrase for a reason. That's why pencils have erasers. And, as Einstein said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” The key is to have the confidence to do and to try and to fail. You are going to make some mistakes, so just expect that...and accept that. Knowing this in advance will make it much less painful when (not “if”) it happens. And if and/or when it ends.

3. Ask Questions, especially “Why?”
It is said that knowledge comes not from answering questions, but from questioning answers. So never be afraid to ask who, what, when, where, how, and (most important!) why.

You aren’t expected to have all the answers. So leverage the knowledge and experience of those who’ve been down this road before. Seek advice, feedback, coaching, and mentoring. Everyone had to start somewhere, and now it’s your time, and your turn. Be curious. Explore. Seek to understand. Dig deeper. And question everything. That’s the only way to learn and to grow.

I remember asking the guy who hired me for that Disney job why he chose me over all the other candidates he interviewed -- even though I knew that a few of them had better resumes than mine. His simple and straight-forward reply: “Because you asked good questions.”

4. Build Relationships Now
We’ve all heard the expression, “It’s not WHAT you know, but WHO you know.” But, in reality, "who you know" is not as important as "who wants to know you"! You definitely need to know stuff – we don’t want to minimize that. And you do want to meet and get to know as many people as you can. But the key to success in building relationships is getting people to want to know you. And that all comes down to building personal relationships, as well as developing your personal brand. 

Someone may have the highest intellectual intelligence in the world, but without emotional and social intelligence -– the ability to know ourselves, and successfully interact with others and develop relationships -– we are, most likely, not going to get very far in the business world.

So be seen. Be heard. Seek to become an "SME" ("subject matter expert") in your area of interest. Be passionate, and demonstrate that passion. Be interesting, but also be interested. Be recognized as someone who can add value. And someone whom others want to know.

But remember that when it comes to building relationships – in work, as in life – it's about quality, not quantity. Seek to form real, genuine, authentic personal connections. Be generous. If you seek to give more than you take and get, it will, (hopefully) eventually come full circle. And, if not...well, it's just the good and the right thing to do anyway.

Lastly

One final thing to remember: While some internships and temp jobs and consulting gigs are stimulating and engaging and exciting, others (many) may not be. The key is to frame your thinking as, “I am going to try to make the best –- and the most -– of my current situation, knowing that it is just one stepping-stone along what will most likely be a long and winding career path.”

And keep in mind that, despite that common metaphor, most careers tend not to be a straight "path," but more of a "roller coaster" of ups and downs, emotional highs and lows, and unexpected twists and turns.

If you think of your career as a journey, and try to make the most of the trip, you’re more likely to successfully reach your desired destination...and to enjoy the ride along the way.

*For more on this topic, please see my previous posts:

"Spanning the Decades: Career Advice for Every Age and Every Stage"

"Are You Looking for a Job, a Career, or a Calling?"