We’re constantly being told that the only way to be happy at work is to find your “calling.” But there’s a much easier –and more realistic – way to find satisfaction, and even happiness, in your current work situation simply by reframing how you look at it.

“So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Ask a group of five-year-olds that, and you’ll be bombarded with enthusiastic shouts of: Firefighter! Police Officer! Astronaut! Gymnast! Ballet Dancer! Movie Star! Baseball Player! Spider-man!

But how many of them will call out: Database Administrator! Market Research Analyst! UX Designer! HR Comp and Benefits Coordinator! Director of Regional Sales! Executive Coach!

We all know that more of us will end up in the latter group than the former – and there’s nothing wrong with that. Yet, every other day I see another blog post peddling the popular notion that having a job or a career isn’t enough. These articles seem to imply that if you’re just “working” and not pursuing a “calling” you’re somehow wasting your life. But it’s not quite that simple. And it’s just not true.

If you think back to your Psych 101 class and Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” pyramid, you’ll remember that people are motivated by (in order from bottom to top): Survival, Security, Belonging, Importance, and Self-Actualization. So, you have a job that meets your basic Survival and Security needs, you are doing well. And if your job also provides you with a sense of Belonging/Community/Affiliation as well as Importance/Esteem, even better. If your job makes you feel Self-Actualized, you are one of the lucky ones. But not everyone achieves that highest level from their work, especially early in one’s career. And that’s OK! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a job that meets the first four levels of the pyramid and finding personal satisfaction and fulfillment from other aspects of your life (e.g., volunteering, hobbies, relationships, etc.). While some may see this as cynical, I see this perspective as realistic. And it removes a lot of the stress and pressure for those who find themselves endlessly frustrated by the fact that they aren’t going to a “dream job” every day. Even those who are lucky enough to have what they consider their “dream job” still have their good days and their bad. 

So what I advise my clients – and my students who are often just starting out in their careers and still trying to figure out what their calling is (if they even have one) – is that the best approach may be to focus on the present while, at the same time, always looking to the future.

Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not currently living the dream. It is ok—at certain times in our lives—to accept a job that simply allows us to support ourselves and our families. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taking a job “for right now” when you need to, while you figure out what the next step on your career ladder should be.

For example, if you’re just getting out of school and need to pay the rent—or gain experience, develop your network, and/or build your resume—you may decide to take a job that’s “fine for now.” Or if you’ve been out of work for a while, transitioning back into the workforce, or are just in the process of trying to figure out your next move, you may end up accepting a position that’s not your “dream job” but moves you one step closer in that direction.

While some people have seemingly linear career paths, most others’ career journeys (like mine!) may be filled with endless bumps in the road, detours, and setbacks. The keys to success are resilience, self-discovery, continuous learning, and the ability to bounce back from adversity with a positive attitude. In short, there’s nothing wrong with doing what you NEED to do, while you’re navigating the road toward what you HOPE to do.

It’s a lofty and noble ambition to want to go out and change the world every day or, as Steve Jobs put it, to “put a ding in the universe.” But the reality is that finding your calling – and getting paid to do what you love to do (if you even know what that is!) may not happen as soon and as quickly as you wanted and expected it to happen, But, again, that’s totally ok.

What’s the Difference between a Job vs. Career vs. Calling

A job is something you do for a paycheck. You show up and do the work, and for that you get paid. A job pays the rent, puts clothes on your back, and food on the table. A job fulfills Maslow’s survival and security needs. As most of us have, I’ve held numerous “survival jobs” over the course of my career, both when I was just starting out, as well as a few times when I was in between “real” jobs that were intended to further my career. I did telephone sales, temped, and was even a bouncer in a club for a while (don’t ask). These jobs weren’t fulfilling, they weren’t leading to a career, and I wasn’t exactly rolling in dough. But when that paycheck came, I was certainly glad to have it.

Most people—if they’re lucky enough to be working—have jobs. Especially when first starting out. And as long as you’re showing up on time with a positive and productive attitude, putting in honest effort, producing results, and delivering a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re there to get the job done and, hopefully, recognized and rewarded for it. And, if you’re really lucky, you’ll do so for a boss who appreciates you and sets you up for success, with good colleagues, and in an environment that you enjoy working in.

If your series of jobs follows a seemingly related and generally upward path, it adds up to a career. A job is to a career like a step is to a staircase, or a rung is to a ladder. “Climbing the career ladder” and “moving forward along your career path” are common metaphors for good reason. It is often the answer to the question, “So, what do you do?”

So as long as you are exploring, growing, learning, developing, producing, and progressing, you’re probably moving forward in the right direction. But it’s also helpful to note that you may come to various forks in the road along your career path, and change direction multiple times – often in unexpected ways.

My dream back when I was in high school and college was to someday work in the tv industry as a producer or network executive. After a series of lower-level, internships and assistant jobs at Aaron Spelling, Columbia Pictures, Disney, and CBS, I realized that (for various reasons) working in that industry was (at that time), not for me. Multiple years and numerous twists and turn later, I ended up doing what I do (and love doing) today, running my own management consulting, training, and coaching business with my brother, as well as being an adjunct professor at NYU. Who ever would have called that? Definitely not me. Not in a million years. And yet, I love what I do, and now, for lack of a better word, call it my calling.

So what exactly is a “calling?” Some people describe it as an internal—almost spiritual—feeling about what you’re “meant” to do for a living. Almost as if it were predetermined, when you fulfill your calling, who you are and what you do are in alignment. You define yourself by your role, seek to master it, and couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Some would even go so far as to say that you would be compelled to do it—even if you aren’t getting paid. It’s what you were born to do. It is your mission and purpose on this earth. It’s your opportunity—and your obligation—to change the world and put that Steve Jobs ding in the universe.

Some people don’t have a “calling”—and that’s fine. In this day and age, there’s nothing wrong with working at different jobs or exploring multiple careers over the course of one’s lifetime. While my father worked a total of two jobs in his professional career (including the last 35 years as an IRS agent—Boo! Hiss!), I’ve worked full-time for approximately 10 different companies so far. Back in the day that was looked upon as instability; today, people say, “Wow – it’s amazing how many different things you’ve done!” And it wasn’t until I hit age 40 that I discovered my current “calling.”

There’s a saying that if you’re lucky enough to love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. I don’t know if I’d go that far—because I work pretty hard even though I love what I do. But if you’ve ever had a job that you hated, and a job that you loved, you know that it’s a lot more fun when you’re earning a living doing something that you love to do.

Closing Thoughts

We may not always love every job we have–or every aspect of every job. But if you’re living what Thoreau called a “life of quiet desperation”, there’s good news. The job market is starting to pick up across the board, so now might be the time to start exploring some other job or career options.

But don’t feel that every single job you consider needs to fulfill your calling. Being open to new experiences and willing to explore new opportunities may lead you down a path to success that you might not have previously considered. It might even lead you to a calling that you never knew existed. The best job I ever had–for the best company and best boss–was a position I almost turned down. So, you never know. I’ve found that if you shoot for the stars, you may only reach the moon, but it will make you feel that the sky’s the limit.

As you aspire to a position that allows you the feeling of autonomy, the opportunity for mastery, and the sense of purpose that Dan Pink describes in his terrific book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, you may come to realize that being open to new experiences, changing your mindset, and managing your expectations is all you needed to get closer to where you want to be.

PART 1: How I Risked Everything to Pursue My Dream Job

I always wanted to work in television.

It was my dream job from the age of about 13. I didn’t want to be an actor, producer, or writer. I wanted to be one of those cool, rich guys in suits at the TV networks who come up with ideas for shows and get to decide what makes it on the air. And I was obsessed with the idea of working at my favorite network: NBC. I thought, “How cool would it be to go to work every day at 30 Rock?”

When I was in college, I‘d been a summer intern for NBC News (I still have the NBC peacock towel that Willard Scott gave all the interns at orientation). So after finishing my master’s degree in communications from SUNY Albany and then working for a year in media buying for Ogilvy & Mather advertising, I realized that if I was really serious about a career in television, I needed to move to the west coast where most of the jobs were. I had already been rejected for full-time positions by NBC, along with every other network, cable station, and production company in New York City. Even though it was the toughest decision I ever had to make, I quit my job at Ogilvy and just blurted out to my parents: “I’m goin’ to Hollywood!”

A few weeks later, with two suitcases, a couple of hundred dollars to my name, no job, no leads, and no contacts in Los Angeles, my parents dropped me off at JFK. After a teary farewell, I boarded my flight to LAX, suddenly unsure of whether or not I was making the right decision.

With reality starting to sink in, my heart pounding with anxiety, and my head spinning with self-doubt and second thoughts, I made my way up the aisle toward my seat (coach, of course) all the way in the back of the plane. As I struggled to get by, a white-haired gentleman was blocking the aisle in first class. When he finally turned around and settled into his seat, I froze: it was Grant Tinker – the president of NBC.

Three hours into the flight, I was still debating whether or not to go up and talk to him. If I did, would I regret bothering him? If I didn’t, would I kick myself for eternity? Should I casually stroll by his seat, pretending to stretch my legs, and then “accidentally” drop one of my resumes onto his lap? Would he then be so impressed that he’d offer me a job on the spot? Or would he forever ban me from NBC for having the audacity to be such an idiot? Three times I got up and peeked through the first class curtain, only to chicken out and scurry back to my seat.

With less than an hour left in the flight, I decided it was now or never, do or die. Somehow, I summoned up the courage and, almost unconsciously, made my move:  I marched down the aisle, straight through the curtain, stopped at his row, turned towards him and, in one long, rambling, run-on sentence,  started spouting out the words that I had been rehearsing and revising in my head for the past four hours:

“Excuse me, Mr. Tinker. I hate to bother you. I was an intern at NBC in New York last summer, and the reason I’m on this flight is because I’m moving out to L.A. to try to get a job in the TV industry, hopefully at NBC. It’s my dream job. Again, I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you might have just a minute to give me some advice or suggestions, or anything that would point me in the right direction once I get out there.”

That’s how Grant Tinker, one of the most powerful men in Hollywood, found himself looking up at a 24 year-old kid who’d just barged into first class and asked for advice. What happened next changed me — and my career — forever.

What’s it going to be? The thrill of victory or the agony of defeat? Find out in the exciting conclusion!

PART 2: I Landed My Dream Job. Then Reality Set In.

When we last saw our hero, he had just asked Grant Tinker, then-president of NBC, for advice on landing his dream job. For more, read Part 1 of Todd’s story, How I Risked Everything to Pursue My Dream Job.

“Excuse me, Mr. Tinker. I hate to bother you. I was an intern at NBC in New York last summer, and the reason I’m on this flight is because I’m moving out to L.A. to try to get a job in the TV industry, hopefully at NBC. It’s my dream job. Again, I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you might have just a minute to give me some advice or suggestions, or anything that would point me in the right direction once I get out there.”

Yes, that’s how I introduced myself to Grant Tinker, the head of NBC. I walked into first class and asked, point blank, if he could give me a few pointers for getting started in the TV industry. When I finished, there was a pause that seemed to go on for eons (OK, it was probably only a second or two). Then the president of my favorite network smiled, slid over to the window seat, extended his hand, and said, “Sure, sit down for a minute. What’s your name?”

So, there I was: 24 years old, unemployed, with nothing in the world but a dream and two suitcases, sitting in first class on my way to L.A., chatting with the head of NBC.

I’ll spare you the details of the actual conversation, but the bottom line is this: the president of what was then the number one television network in the country was generous enough to take five minutes of his valuable time to share the wisdom of his experience with a young, aspiring job seeker.

I never ended up working at NBC, but I left that conversation on an emotional high, beaming with hope and optimism, and confident that I had made the right decision. And although I am 99.9 percent sure that Mr. Tinker doesn’t recall that brief interaction of so many years ago, his words and generosity still resonate with me today.

As for my career, it took a while — with a lot of ups and downs — to finally get on track. I took a number of “survival jobs” to pay the bills, including doing telephone sales for the L.A. Times during the day (pure, monotonous torture and hours of rejection), followed by my evening job as a bouncer at a Burbank nightclub (don’t ask).

But after months of perseverance, I finally caught a break.

There was a brief internship at Aaron Spelling Productions, followed by a stint in casting administration at Columbia Pictures Television, and then a job as assistant to a writer/producer at Disney Television. Then, at last, I landed my crowning position as assistant to the manager of drama program development at CBS. I was 25 years old, and I had finally made it into a TV network.

Unfortunately, working for an abusive psycho-boss at CBS forced me to leave the industry that I loved (or, more accurately, that I thought I was going to love), never to return. After a few exciting years as a project manager in the theme park business, I ultimately moved back to New York and got into the management training field, which is what I do today.

It might seem like working in television and my current career as a management, leadership, and presentation skills consultant, trainer, and coach have nothing in common. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

My experience in the entertainment industry taught me so much: storytelling (a crucial skill for successful leaders!); the power of visual thinking and visual communication; the effective use of metaphor and analogy; innovation and creativity; teamwork and collaboration; how to design a presentation and pitch an idea that motivates, inspires, and influences others; and so much more.

And, from my years in Hollywood, I learned numerous other life lessons that I regularly draw on as a leadership trainer, coach, and adjunct professor at NYU:

Do I miss the glamor and excitement of working in the entertainment industry? Well, I got to go to numerous TV show tapings and wrap parties. I got to sit on Seinfeld’s couch and on Norm’s bar stool on the Cheers set. I got to meet Lucille Ball, Tom Hanks, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I had lunch with Vanna White, rode up in an elevator, alone, with Vanessa Williams, and, most memorable (and surreal) of all, I spent a half hour being interviewed, one-on-one, by Pee Wee Herman to be his personal assistant.

So, do I miss it? Maybe just a little.

It’s all about the Little Pink Spoon.

One of my all-time favorite summertime pleasures is going to Baskin-Robbins and trying out a few new flavors with those little pink spoons of theirs. Ninety percent of the time I just end up getting Rocky Road, but I always enjoy tasting a few other flavors before ordering my cone.

Why is Baskin-Robbins so willing to give away their product for free? It’s obvious: they hope that by giving us a free taste, we’ll end up buying a cup or a cone or a pint or a gallon. So they gladly give away millions of little pink spoonfuls in order to make many millions of dollars more in return. It’s the same reason movies show trailers, cosmetics companies offer samples, and car dealers offer test drives: people want to try before they buy.

So, how do you bring the Little Pink Spoon Principle into play in your job search? By giving a prospective employer a “free sample” of what you have to offer, you’ll dramatically improve your chances of success. Here are three ways to do it …

[Click HERE to read the rest of the post on the Hired Guns site]